Is Your Identity Harming Or Honoring You?

Published Jul 24, 2023

152 Seconds

That's how long it took for someone to value me,152 seconds; crazy, right?

It's the awareness I want to bring to you today.

Interacting with people on social media has shown some hidden and unaware areas of development.

What's most potent of them all is Incongruncey.

As a result, it's affecting our identity, harming us, and many are oblivious to it.

They believe they've got a solid foundation for their identity, yet the cracks are starting to show.

Someone reached out to me in the conversation below; they saw me on social media once!

Let's explore it:

They used all the tricks we are commonly taught today.

Lucky for us, we are no ordinary bunch. 😉

You can have the 'best' product in the world, but everything fails if your identity isn't congruent.

Here's why their identity is reflected negatively:

#1 → Overcompensation - Plenty of compliments

I got 6 compliments.

Killing it
Love your energy
So amazing bro
Strong, clear nature
Awesome to meet you
Never get high on your supply.

When you are in complete certitude of self, you do not need validation.

It’s nice to hear; sure, it's all icing on the cake.


→ They've failed to show the qualities of someone who values people.

Be critical of the compliments you receive; if it's not something direct, specific, or relevant and with a reason, it's all fluff.

Something like this sounds better:

"Hey, Anks, I've been following you for a while now, and I notice you speak about purpose; it's different, refreshing and provokes thought."

#2 → Lack of Interest

Genuine interest means they react, interact, and engage.

They'll question your perspective, ideas, and thoughts.

Anything that compelled them or created intrigue.

In this case, my questions were avoided.

'Anything particularly resonated with you?'

'How have you come to do what you do?'


They show ignorance, self-inclination and have no genuine interest.

Always test someone's level of interest, and provoke them to tell you what they found helpful. More importantly, why.

If their reasoning is shallow, provoke them more.

Only settle once you are innately satisfied with the reason.

Remember, the person who leads the conversation is the one who asks the most questions, get curious and never easily give your power to others.

#3 → No Brainer Offer

152 seconds for them to determine that I might be a "good fit."

These offers are made to shift your state into a mode of 'trusting'.

Get you to put your guard down - never put your guard down!

This method isn't necessarily wrong - We need a bigger picture.

That doesn't come from their processes and method.

Be more concerned about the person's intentions.


→ They've failed to reflect on who they are.

The carrot on the stick should not be a reason for your decision-making.

We have to source more information: Them and the product.

**If there is no alignment between both, question it!

My observations:

  • Their following is low - Why aren't more people following them
  • Their sense of confidence in their videos is low.
  • Their presence digitally is non-existent.
  • High-value offer but has low-value relationships skills

Action Steps

It took 152 seconds to determine this person in their entirety.

Plenty of skills yet needs much reeducation on critical people skills.

How someone treats others is a reflection of how they uphold themselves.

Remember, many factors determine success and are often left to presupposition. Nobody can command every 'working force' at their will.

If it took someone ten years to develop a system that promises it will help you in 1 month is ludicrous! - We'd all be rich.

Life is experimental; you need tools for problem-solving, not solutions that supposedly fix the problem.


→ Our identity shows in our actions and language - develop a better you.

→ Be critical in the understanding of others to avoid exploitation.

→ Never put your guard down - develop more substantial parameters

→ Rely less on quick-step education, get masterful in people skills

Don't let your identity harm your growth.

When you're ready, here's how we help you:

A Purposeful Path Workshop
A powerful workshop to get you aligned with your connected path. With a deeper appreciation for who you are explore what beings you a sense of meaning. Find Out More.
Compass Of Life Course - Navigate The Choas
A self-paced course designed to build your inner compass and navigate life with complete certainty. Wield your most powerful tool and lead your life - Register interest
1:1 Sessions - Hire A People-Centric Coach
Often, inner constraints are expressed differently and never reveal the actual problem; it can be frustrating - Get yourself back on the path of progress.

Anks Patel

Founder, Growth Coach, People Developer, Strategist,Unconventional Thinker, Aligner, Clarifier


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