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"We just got robbed! Come home now!"

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It's the news I wouldn't want my enemies to experience.

Knowing that my wife, child, and parents were standing on the landing, being held captive with a knife, is no joke.

The news could have been worse. You can imagine the thoughts that were running through my mind.

I was in a highly intense state of curiosity, thinking about what had happened, why that day, why when I was out and how my dad was.

I was angry at the occurrence, yet I stayed calm when I got home. I wanted to clarify the problem before making assumptions.

I knew what had happened couldn't be changed. I could have made it worse, started jumping to conclusions, letting my anger about the situation add to my current state of mind or started playing the victim card with all the rest going on during that time.

Sometimes we have to step out of ourselves to gain clarity. Otherwise, our emotions in a given situation can control us. As much as I wasn't involved in this occurrence, I felt the impact and loss I incurred. I was able to give comfort, guide, and acknowledge mental stress, fear, panic, and overwhelm.

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Today I want to share what I call Positions of Perspective.

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We step into these perspectives frequently. Problems arise when we remain in a specific positions, which can hinder us from making better decision.

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3 Positions of Perspective

First Position: Perspective Within Self

This is the position of self-awareness. Individuals focus on their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours related to a situation; they are in their bodies. They take stock of their perspective and how they are influenced by their biases, values, and motivations. You know how you feel and what you want.

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Signs that someone is in the First Position

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• Using "I" statements and focusing on their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours without considering other perspectives.
• Defensive or closed off to feedback or suggestions
• Emotionally reactive or impulsive without considering the potential consequences.
• Rigid in their thinking and unwilling to consider alternative viewpoints.
• Focusing on their own needs or agenda
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Second: Perspective With Others

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This is the position of empathy. In the second position, individuals imagine themselves in the shoes of another person or group and consider their perspective. This involves empathising with their thoughts, feelings, behaviours and understanding their perspective and motivations.

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Signs that someone is in the Second Position

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• Using "you", "we", and 'us" statements and trying to see things from another person's perspective
• Listening actively and showing empathy
• Asking questions to understand the other person better
• Using language that shows a desire to collaborate and find solutions that benefit both parties.
• Demonstrating a willingness to compromise
• Avoiding blame or criticising the other person.

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Third: Perspective As Observer

This is the position of objectivity. In the third position, individuals step back from the situation and consider it objectively. They consider a range of factors and perspectives, including their perspective (first position) and the perspective of others (second position). The third position involves weighing the pros and cons of different options and making an informed decision based on a more holistic view of the situation, an emotion-free zone.

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Signs that someone is in the Third Position

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• Using neutral and objective language, such as "it" or "the situation".
• Looking for patterns or commonalities across different perspectives and experiences.
• Considering the larger context or system in which the situation is taking place.
• Using language that suggests a willingness to be flexible and adapt to changing circumstances.
• Considering different possible outcomes or scenarios and weighing the pros and cons of each.
• Using language that acknowledges uncertainty or complexity in the situation.

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Moving Between The 3 Positions

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We all know someone who is entirely first positioner. In truth, we're all in the first position, ensuring we survive; don't get hurt and know what we want. We've all seen those so engrossed within themselves that we term them immature or narcissistic. Every decision and action is self-inclined.

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Sometimes we are called upon to be in the second position, and it's harder for some to be here; they have never practised stepping out of themselves. It's a position that allows, for example, to have connected conversations and to be there for someone who needs us.

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Problems arise when we remain here - 🤚🏽 guilty. Being only in an 'others' focused perspective means we tend to neglect ourselves and our growth. Can you relate?

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At times we need to view the world from an observer position by stepping out of ourselves and others and taking a broader disassociated perspective to come to conclusions.

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When I was active in my brand strategy role, it was easier to help others to create strategies for building a brand. It was challenging to do my own strategy on Peoplepreneur; possible, but it took years, and I lost much time. I was associated with myself, so I'd always say, "It needs to be better", "I don't think I'm ready to launch yet", or "I need to redesign it", or "That's not right".

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We must learn to take information from all three perspectives to lead our lives meaningfully and make the decision more effectively. Here are five strategies for each:

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Framework For Better Decisions Making

Here's a simple example.

Let's say someone is trying to decide whether to accept a job offer in another city.

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First Position (Self)

• Consider personal values and goals: What are my priorities in life? What is important to me?
• Consider personal strengths and weaknesses: What skills and qualities do I possess that would make me successful in this new job and city? What challenges might I face?

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Second Position (Other)

• Consider the needs and desires of others: How will this decision impact my family and friends? Will they be supportive of this move? Will I be able to maintain my essential relationships?
• Consider the needs and desires of the employer: What are their expectations for me in this role? Will I be able to meet those expectations and contribute to the company's success?

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Third Position (Observer)

• What opportunities and challenges does this new city offer? What are the potential risks and rewards of this move? What other factors might influence this decision?

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Here’s a professional example.

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Let's say you're a manager and trying to decide whether to promote one of your employees to a higher position.

First Position (Self)

• Take the perspective of yourself as the manager. Ask yourself, "What benefits will this promotion bring to me? What are my goals and objectives for the company? Will this promotion help me achieve them?"

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Second Position (Other)

• Take the perspective of the employee who is being considered for the promotion. Ask yourself questions like, "How will this promotion affect their career path? Will it bring them more job satisfaction? How will this affect others in the team?

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Third Position (Observer)

• Take the perspective of the company as a whole. Ask yourself questions like, "How will this promotion impact the team or department the employee is working in? Will it benefit the company in terms of productivity, revenue, or customer satisfaction? Will it align with the company's values and mission? Have we missed something?"

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As much as making decisions within each position is ok, a combination of the three can give us the most influential power of decision. Using this framework, we can better make decisions considering the experience, impact and meaning we create.

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What I’d encourage is to go into these perspectives to gain information and come back to the first position.

Try it; I'd love to know how you use this system to create more clarity in your lives.