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I want to bring to you a lesson that is really crucial for our mental model.

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As we locked eyes and stared each other down; with every passing minute, the intensity of what just happened got heavier and heavier. As they reversed their awkwardly parked car from the trash bin near where I sit, we remained frozen, locked, as if to say, "You know what you did wrong". The deed was done, and there was no sign of them correcting their actions; off they went.

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I sat, sipping my coffee and observed two boys throw their trash out of their car window past the trash bin, straight on the floor; their intentions were apparent. I felt a sense of anger, almost let down. Let down by society and the reason why many today aren't able to achieve what they desire. We have developed a culture for ourselves and continue contributing in ways hindering ourselves.

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They are not their behaviour.

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We all are trying to fulfil our human needs. We will cover more on understanding needs in the paid subscriptions, but for now, know this, the action of others are not a result of negative intention. Their actions are based on fulfuling what they need.

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The behaviour in this example was perhaps an act for the following reason:

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• They look 'cool' - A need to be seen (significance)
• To assert a sense of control - they may lack elsewhere (certainty)
• They feel admired by their friends - a need to be (loved)
• They felt bored and wanted excitement - a requirement for (variety)

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These are a few reasons why they would act in such way, but there are too many to list here.

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What may seem wrong to us, in our minds, may well be logically correct to others if it brings them closer to their needs, no matter how silly, annoying, weird, or outrageous their actions are. They are doing it for a positive reason, for themselves. It's the same reason people continue to steal, those who commit a crime or even those who cause harm.

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Don't get caught up.

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As much as we feel annoyed or angry towards something we disagree with. You can stop yourselves in your tracks because of others around us. Your state may change, your behaviour will trigger your emotions, and you’ll act in ways that might harm you and others. All because we failed to manage ourselves.

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Our ability to understand and act accordingly makes us powerful human beings; we have a choice.

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We've all experienced family disagreements, horrible bosses, bullies in school, leaders that take us in the wrong direction, ignorant public members, a disengaged waiter, a domestic with a partner, and juvenile children. I’m sure you have a bigger list but note this, you, as well as others, are acting within two very simple but powerful reasons:

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To gain some form of pleasure and avoid pain.

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When we can understand that, we begin to see the world in a very different perspective.

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What you can do

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Understand

Understand and grow from your experiences. Like Humaira, my strategic partner says, "heighten your level of awareness". You must become a better observer and watch what is happening around you. If you are not positively affected by your surrounding, you haven't understood something.

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Focus

Change what meaning you take from the situations and people around you. Do so by asking yourself better questions. Why did they do that? What was the intention? Are they lacking something? How could we have better approached that? What can I do as a result of this experience?

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Control

If you find yourself being drawn into experiences that change your state, focus, awareness or mindset, have a sense of control. We can let our emotions control us during the moment when you ought to find a way to choose a more resourceful state to approach it.

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It's genuinely a profound awareness when you can see the world through this lens. We gain a sense of clarity when we begin to understand the people around us and why they do what they do. Knowing that we can control our actions and behaviour keeps us focused on our path. We handle the situation in a manner that promotes growth for others and ourselves.

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Have an awesome week ahead, Champion.

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Empowering Belief

Behind every behaviour is a positive intention.

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